Natasha

Today Natasha died.

I just cant believe my friend of 45 years died.  She had breast cancer and had double mastectemy but the cancer came back with a vengence and was all over.  Her liver had started to fail, and she was getting ascites buildup that required draining, then jaundice took over and probably her systems just all shut down and she went out.

I had seen her yesterday, and she was still lucid and talking, albeit somewhat haltingly as her throat was dry.  She had a nasal feeding tube.  Her ascites prevented the G tube insertion.  On Thursday, they went down to Torrance to have it drained, and then the nurse came and said that it is ok to give her 4 tabs of Oxycontin, or something, as one was not working, neither was two.

So Peter gave her a dose at 4 30 AM, and he took Ian back to the airport, he came in on Friday.  We thought she might wake up with pain about 8 30, but 9 30 came and went and she was still ok.  Then she started to wheeze, and we thought we had to take her to ER.  When I tried to sit her up, her eyes were starting to stare, and the breathing was very shallow, about 4 breathes per 20 seconds.  That is about 1/2 the average.  Pete called 911 and they told me to do rescue breathing, but I could not get a seal, and she was gurgling a bit.  The paremedics came, and by the heart monitor, I knew she was going, but Pete wanted them to take her to Torrance.  I said to him that she didn't want anything done, and he thought she was still savable.  He thought she would last a bit, like days to die, but I realize that she was just about gone.  I told him to come and take her hand, and then she flat lined.

It is so weird, that she was having lunch with me and only on April 14, today is Mother's Day, Sunday May 10, and she is gone.  Just three weeks.  I told Ian to write her a letter and he did, and it was a beautiful letter.  The mortuary took a bit to come and they will tell us if any company can harvest any organs.  I will help Pete and go down to Green Hills with him tomorrow.

On another note, Kurt is in love with Jen Anne Harbeck.