Oh so many CAULIFLOWER Saturday anniversary of Father's passing THREE YEARS

 This is the last  day of May.

Father passed three years ago now.  I talked  to Mimi, Seems like no one  misses him.  Warren wants  a  divoorcce I guess  because he had a girlfriend.   Like father like son.  

KR went surfing after we walked Angel at Miramar Park.  She  is  still limping a little.  But she is onn Mobic so is getting better.  

KR went to FM and got about 50 heads of  cauliflower.  We m ade cauliflower rice annd  soup with cauliflower.  

Kurt went  to the airport to pickc  up Corrina.  They were in Boston for Connor's girlfriend's graduationn or something like that.

He stayed up there until 2 or so.

We went to the jacuzzi and then dinner.

Friday night light with Jason

 I was not sleeping well.  Sleep score 50  Sheesh

First went to cardio class.  Rather  slowly.  Then it was yoga  

KR went on a  bike ride with Flip and then had dinner at Baja Sharkeez  whicch he had only one beer.

I was home most day.   Did not feel too good.

Went to Friday nnight light with Jasonn and I don't believe the 7 24 hour period in Genesis, neither does  Lovely.

Working Thursday, sort of

 I was up and ready for work.  It was so weird to go to work after having almost a month  off.  Last time I worked was May  1, and today is the 29.

However, half  of my patients canceled so I was done by  9 30.  YIPPEEEE

I went to El Super  and bought over 100 dollars worth of meat and stuff.

Came hoome and KR did NOT HAVE ANY ALCOHOL !!!   Cat was away and the mouse did NOT play.

I made tendon and then brisket and cooked all the vegetables.  Very dizzy so laid around all afternoon.  KR went surfing in the afternoon after a nap and I went to the 5 pm Core class.  I needed it.  

Kurt had work all day.  I even prepped his lunch this morning.  Fried chicke, yogurt, banana and Gatorade.

social security done

 So I  got poor sleep score.  We went down to the beach and only walked Angel around Miramar park.  She is still limping.  I went to the Social Security office and there was 15 people already lined up.  I was there 15 min early.  

By 9 30 I was done.  They recorded that mom had passed away on  5/7 and   no more checks would  be forecoming.

Stopped at Optum and got the list of  the dentist that  will be making my Mandibular Repositioning device.  I called Night Owl and made an appt for this  Friday.

Came home and  KR HAD ANOTHER BEER, a large one. I thought after yesterday, in which he drove while with .05 BAC that he would not drink for awhile.  

I WAS WRONG

He finished the floor board and I went to mom's and spent about an hour and half cleaning the windows and all that.

We had light dinner and went to church for Bible Study on Job

Tuesday 5/27/2025 Diane Krieger's Birthday

 I was up before KR's alarm went off, dreaming about cutting out a silhouette of a snake but someone lost parts of it.  Weird dream.

I did laundry and KR went to his class.  I canceled mom's account with chase.  Will be calling social security to stop the payments and the insurance too.  A lot of things to do

Sleep Score was 79, just like yesterday

Monday and feeling somewhat better *

 Memorial Day 2025

We were up early  but  not walking Angel.  She is limpinng from prolly chasinng a squirrel.  KR tried to go surfing but no go.  He took all the baseboard out of the bathroom and then we went to NH for a hog dog.  He ate onne and half and i had half.  It was nice to see all the old folks having a good time.  Nick Blaney  of course, played on  the band.  No boat races.

We came home and KR took a nnap.  I went to  TWO classes, first cardio, came home for half hour and then  pilates.  I also went cycling in the afternoon.  Saw a bunch of stuff just past Adele's house and KR went back to get a BBQ and two bed frames.  HAHAHAH

I cooked the fish on the new BBQ.  Seems to work well.  

Kurt was gone all day and came home about 11 30

Sunday and too much gardening 5/25/2025

 KR and I went down to the sand to walk Angel.  Sleep score was 79 and had some convoluted dreams.

KR went back for some bees that were in the  parking lot.  Then it looked like he didn't get the queen so he went back.  Kurt and I went and he was late.  We were a bit late too and I don't like being late.  We were late to Friday Night lite and didn't seen to bother KR.

After church, KR did not stay for Q&A and we came home and checked on bbhe bees and I started yard work.  I pruned most of the juniper and made them into  small balls.  It was too much work.  I also whacked some rosemary  and some of the grass looking thing.  I was pooped.

I went on a ride to pick up the plate covers.  Over on Danaha by Donna's house.  I rode over 10 miles.  

We had left over for dinner, and tomorrow will have fish.  Kurt went to a counseling session with Corrina and then up to her house.  Guess he is not coming home tonight.  

I was in bed by 9 15.

Saturday and Black Bear Diner 5/24/2025 sleep score 76

 I got better sleep after I taped my mouth, but KR hsd to wake me to turn over.  I don't know why the nose piece keeps coming undone.  I need to try the madibular repositioning device.

KR went surfing and Kurt did laundry.  He didn't get up  until 11 30 and then slept all afternoon too.

I drove to Meli's to drop off some food for her critters.  She gave us a lot of fish.  I also went to Jim's and gave him a bunch of food for his critter.  I stopped at Ace and bought some orchid mix so tomorrow I will transplant some orchids.

KR took a nap and then went to buy a lot of soil from Home Depot.  He transplanted the azealia that Suz gave me and put the potting soil in the raised bed and at mom's too.  

We went to Black Bear Diner and by  chance saw Katherine and John there.  We had a great meal and conversation.  I pray  to have better sleep tonight.  I did get 7.5 hours of sleep.

Friday Bible Study

 Today is MUCH better in terms of dizziness than yesterday.  I didn't use the CPAP so the sleep score is 62.  Not too good.  KR went surfing and I did a load of laundry then did TWO classes at the Y, very slowly.  First Core Conditioning and then yoga.  Toshi thought I was too unsteady to be in that class.  HAHAHAHAHA

KR had lunch while I went to Costco to get a receipt for the Eufy.  One in the back yard wonn't ccharge.  The one by Kurt's window would not sync, but I called them and got it done.

I sent everything to Eufy, they will send me a nnew one.  Warranty is one year.

I tried nappinng for several hours.  NO GO

KR and I walked Angel to the park and then went to Bible Study.  Attributes of God, with Bob P

Tuesday Wednesday and NO work Thursday

 Well I forgot to write Tuesday and then Wednesday and now it is Thursday evening so here goes three days.

Tuesday skeeo scooore was 73, Wednesday 87 and today 66  I know I didn't sleep too well last night.

I know we had Bible Study Tue night and got some lettuce for the chickens and some strawberries that we served.  We had lunchc at Kalvera's and it was very good taco.  I ooly had two.  KR had FOUR plus fish taco.  Said he ate too much.

Wednesday I went to mom's to measure the big slidig glass and hope to order drapes and some kind of curtain rod or the tension wire like what we have in the shower here.  I went to Vo'ns to get Adele and my RX.  Then I stopped at Sam's club and got some bananas and cat wet food. 

Today I felt BAD all day.  Queasy and nauseous and very  dizzy all day.  My vision felt bad too.  We went downn to the beach for a walk and then it was just not doing muchc all day for me.  KR and Flip went for a bike ride and a swim and lunch.  I went to the post office and mailed a card to Dan Parkins.  He sent me a very nice card.

I am praying I feel better tomorrow 

Monday 5/19/2025

 If mom and father were still alive and married, today would have been their 69th wedding anniversary.

But it isn't as they  are both gone and long divorced.

We were up and I got a sleep score of 84  WOWOWO  However, the hissing kept KR awake so he had to nudge me to turn over the other way.  

He tried to go surfing.  No go.  We walked to the park and I finished the curtains and went over and hung them at the  condo.  KR had his beer and then ordered the blinds from Costco/Bali and hopefully  he did the right thing.  Then it was lunch and a nap. 

I went to the pilates class and the cardio class.  Then I had an appt with Dr Feder at 5 and got out of there at 6 30.  SHEESH

Got two injections, one in the iliopsoas region and one in the adductor muscle and we shall see if that works.

He wants me back in two weeks. 

The other doc, Not Feder who did the injection.

KR took Angel to the golf courese and they CALLED THE POLICE !!!!   HE IS NOT WALKING THERE AGAIN !!!!

Kurt had work all day and had pizza lunch

Sunday dinner at Norm's with Kurt

AND WE FORGOT TO ORDER FREE {PANCAKES)!!!!!!!

We were up early a nd walked Angel to the park.  Then Kurt went to COTB and we went to Branch.  KR went to Mary's old place to get some avocado sticks for grafting.  So we both drove.  He stayed for Q7A.

After church, KR did grafting and I did the curtains.  Well, the outside ones were suppose to be a little longer than the inside ones.  Didn't happen that way.  Heck, I still hunng them up.  No one can tell the bottom is a little off.

Then KR had a 'power nap', which turned into a LONG nap.

We then went to the condo and measured the windows and I need to try to order them tomorrow.

Kurt and KR and I wennt to Norms.  We got a 20 dollar off cocupon from the run and then I redeemed some points so we ate three meals plus a lot of left over for 20 bucks.  

Patty's  back went out so I brought her two back braces and a bunch of meds.  She was laying on the ground in pain!!!  After the muscle relaxant and the back brace she felt much better.

Saturday and it drizzled RUN Torrance 5K

 Soo I was up early  and had a weird dream.  The dream was first  about  buying pineapple ccakes at  a Japanese toouorist attraction, but the shop  had closed.  I was there with May Chang and Rocky.  

Then KR came by on an EBike with Tyler  on  the  back, and then I was riding trying to ccatch up but it was dark and hard to see and then was day light and we went to a water fall and Tyler got his shoe stuck in the water crevice, and I was giving him something to eat and part of the sandwich fell into the water.  And people were jumping into the swimming hole at the bottom of the waterfall but it was kind of tiny.

AND THE SLEEP SCORE WAS 83.  Lots of REM so I had the dream.

The race was at 8 and I rode my bike as Kurt was late of course.  He drove and parked and I ran it under 10 min mile !!!!  Hurray.  Mike ran with me almost the whole time and Kurt barely beat him.  We collected a LOT of loot.

KR went to Walk for Life at Veteran's Park and collected loot too.

We went to FM and  got 10 plus FLATS of strawberries and gave so much away in a very short time.  We froze a bunch and Chuck gave us a strawberry pie.  WOWOWOWOWOWO  

I tried to nap.  Stomach not feeling good.  Ate some burnt toast finally  KR walked Angel at the golf course.

Went to bed by  9 30

Friday lazy day ad dizzy day

 Julie Jensen is getting a divorce!!

Adele text me that I need to get in touch with Julie.  OH NO I thought, no onne died.  Well, the marriage died.  It has beenn long time coming.  I thought so.  Bill does nothign and Julie does everything.  Very sad.

I had better sleep but still felt dizzy and tired.  The meds : klonnipin .25 sort of annd half of effexor 37.5.  Has not done anything yet.

We went to Veterann's park annd walked Angel early.  No surf for KR.  I went to my cclass, cardio dance and KR went up to switch the nuke at Helen's.  I made spaghetti with sauce and KR had that for lunch.  He took a nap.  I went down to the village and got my number for tomorrow race  117.  Kurt is 118

Went to the alley and didn't see anything.

Tried to nap and no go

Went to Bible Study and Corrina came by.  Kurt made more noodles and they had that for dinner

Thursday NO WORK CDA coventiion

 So I usually  work every other Thursday but they all went to the convention so I had the 'day off'. 

I didn't get out of bed until 6 and I  had to get up 3 or 4 times to pee.  What is up with that??  KR went surfing and of course I started doing a load of laundry, and cleaning.  I took the bins out from under the computer room bed and sorted through all kinds of stuff.  Gave away stuff that I would not wear and looked throught the kids' baby  clothes and saved some and trashed some.

KR had Valor meeting and I had a cardio class at 9 30 but i was a little late.  I went to Sally's and dropped off the nonworkign vacuum, then to Steven's and dropped off clothes.  Went to mom's to pick up the drapes so I can shorten them here.  Came home and Suz was just leaving.  She brought flowers and snacks and plums.   We chatted for about a hour.  What a blessign they are.

KR took a short nap and I went for a ride at 3.  Got a very good jar of beets and some fruit in a cup.  Valor had open house and KR went back.  He had the left over cheeseburger for dinner, before he left.

I was really dizzy when Suz was here, but in the evening was a little better. 

Wednesday

 My sleep  score went downn to 39 again.  I thought i had pretty good sleep.  NOPE.  NO REM at all.  5.5 hours  of sleep and 39.  Gonna be tired. But that is ok, I donn't gotta do nothig today.  

I went to cardio class at 8 30  with Karmina and then another cardio fusion dance with  Kyle.  The class with  Kyle was PACKED at 5 pm.

I also cycled  for 6.55 miles all around the neighborhood.  Didn't get anything except a bag of recycling.

KR went surfing and Kurt had work all day.  My stomach was a bit upset.  Maybe from the Effexor, which I cut in half now.  Trying to see if that would help the vertigo.

The weather turned cold.  Not like last weekennd, high in the 60's again  I tried sending more Power of Attorney to Green Hills.  I doon't kow why they said they need that.  Also trying to decide how much to sell the plots at Rose hills.  

Bed by 9

Tuesday and Bible Study *

 KKR went surfing after his morning Bible Study and I changed the sheets and did laundry.  He went to FM and  got some lettuce, very little, but some very nice  strawberries.  I  started taking Effexor and  seems to be helping with the sadness.  Praying it would  help  with the dizzinenss.

Lunch was  BLT and diner was hotdog and kraut.  Cristian brought sushi and chocolate and chicken.  Kurt had work all day.  We walked Angel to the park before everyone came.

I read to the group mom's obit.  Just can't seem to put it out there yet.

Eddie still has not decided on what he is doing.

I spoke with Rose Hills and Green Hills and working on gettinng the money back for the mortuary part of the fees that we paid for mom.  Over 5000 bucks !!  They want the death certificate and the cremation center paid in full receipt.  What a weird request.  What difference does it make?  As lonng as they have the DC should be fine.  

Green Hills said that to 'WITNESS' the burial of the urn, it would be EXTRA 450 bucks.  NO THANKS !!

We will hand over the urn and then have a picnic at gravesite and that is that.

I was in bed by 10

Monday and so full of grief

 Don't know what happened, but I just could not shake the aching feeling in my heart today.

I was up by 5 could not sleep.  KR went surfing and I stayed hoome of course, and had a clcass at 8 am and another one at 10.  It was hard as I was so dizzy trying to do the YMCA classes.  Pilates did not feel like pilates, and wt training was good but I tried to stress my  shoulder.  

Had a nice chat with  Pam.  

Had a nice chat with Irina Dean.

Made cheeseburgers for dinner.  Kurt worked all day.  KR got all the whale bones out of the alley  dumpsters for me.  They look great.

Talked to Lovely for 45 min.  That was very  very  good.  I just can't cry  anymore. 

Mother's Day 2025

 Oh what a day 

First time in 66   years I don't have a physical mother on this earth.  I got up at 6 15 and had 9 hours of sleep  but the score was 46.  KR went surfinng at Burnout.  Many  people  text me happy  mothers  day.    I am still in a  fog.  Watched Lovely's sermon online at her church this morning.  She is going to bring some of mom's stuff back when she comes this summer.

I finally g ot the  miles transfered and got her ticket for this summer THREE weeks.

We went to church.  Kurt  and I drove as KR had duty.  We came home and took Angel to the Fire Road for a walk.  She didn't want to go so KR carried her.

Came home and took a nap.  I was so  so tired.  Went for a bike ride and found a rolling back pack.  KR and I cooked dinner.  Wagu  beef, orange chicken,, vege and rice plus choco cookies for dessert. 

Corrina came by and brought  me  some flowers and  a GLASS flower,  I really l ike it

Kurt made me a  beautiful card, and bought me  a bird bath, and Helen gave me a book.

Saturday and oh so so tired and dizzy

 So the watch refused to log my sleep.  HAHAHA  I went to bed at 1 finally after the ashes were done and I spoke with James and Lovely as Alan was driving.

IT IS STILL SO SO WEIRD

I was up by 5 30  could not sleep

KR went surfing and I cleaned of course.  Then we went for a bike ride after he ate something.  We rode from the village to MB pier.  Got 8 bottles of Gatorade alkaline water.

Came home and I cooked taco salad stuff andn KR went to Kathleen's and unclogged her bathroom sink.

He took Angel to the golf course.

Kurt came home mid day and wennt down for a little surf sessionn.  

I  tried napping, as I was so so tired.  BUT could not sleep. Yesterday never even got a sleep score,   I started napping at 8 

Friday YMCA mothers day luncheon Plus Cardiologist, plus pulmomologist

 5/9/2025

Mom got cremated today.

I was up  super early and the watch says I didn't get very good sleep.  KR took Angel as I had cardiologist appt.  Had a heart ECG, also known as sonogram.  I have an enlarged LEFT VENTRICLE!!!  

Why, no one knows.  Dr Yan referred me to Dr ENG the rheumatologist  and I made an appt for next month.  He thinks maybe I have autoimmune that is why my heart is slightly enlarged and that I have joinnt pains.  Who knows.

We went to the YMCA luncheon and there were alot of people.  Our table was chosen second so we got our food pretty quick.  Chicken with noodles and potatoes annd salad and cheesecake and milk/juice and roll.  All very good.

We cacme home and I took a nap before my 3 pm Pulmonologist appt.  Dr Thai, who is ordering me another kid of mask and is channgingn the pressure to 10

Got home and KR went to pick up sandwiches and then to church Bible study.

Lovely live streamed the crematorium.  

Thursday and I didn't have to work 5/8/2025

 KR and I went to take Angel to the Fire Road.  SHE WOULD not go.  So we tried to find Prince, and he was nowhere to be found.  We came home.

My sleep score  58   KR sleep score 85!!     😂😩

We had gottenn some blankets in the alley  and I washed them.  Alsoo a vacuum but it would not work so we need to take to E-Waste

Maribel came over with a dozen guava pastries and flowers.  Naby came by with a box of pastries from JJ Chiense bakery.  Karin Burger came by with a card and some butterflies on a stick.  I am so blessed to have so many friends.

My head is fuzzy and I was 104.9 this morninng.  Never had weigh this little.  Could not sleep nor eat.  Neither can Lovely.  Eddie has lots of regrets, like not calling mom more regularly.  Lovely used to call her EVERYDAY for seems like years !!!

I tried napping.  Nothing to it.  Vertigo very bad.  Diamond and Will came by about 3 30 and stayed for two hours.  I gave Will the black Brooks shoes and some socks.  He smelled like BO.  Jeez.  They just moved into Auntie Jackie's back ADU, which is a converted garage.

KR took Angel to the golf course and I went for a 

What a Wednesday

 I don't even know how the day went.

The sleep  score said good, like 83 but I felt like I didn't rest at all.

I was up by 5 as I kept thinking of mom.  We went to the beach and it was cold walking to Veteran's Park.  The redondo cop said Angel is NOT to harass the wild life  ie  squirrels.  OH WOW

KR thought he had to go to a memorial service but he showed me the flyer and it says JUNE 7, not May 7.

I went to pick up 12 mackerel fish from Soni and I cleaned them and gave them all away except 3 that I cooked and ate some and gave to chickens and cats and Angel.

Maribel and Tracy came with flowers and a card.  NOW I am in the 'orphan' club.  Carol Gooch came with flowers too.  Patty sent me a Lovely flower.  I am so tired about being sad.

I wore the wt vest all day.  My  back is a wreck.  I also shopped at Ralphs and bought fried chicken and stuff.  Sumi dropped off cookies.

I booked Lovely's one way and the point transfer from Hawaiian to Alaska is taking so long.  I also wennt for a 7 mile ride.   

bed was 9 pm

MOM IS GONE !!

 How do I even begin this blog?  

Lovely  called and I did't hear the ring and I saw the pic, and I called.  Mom had passed away in  her  sleep Taiwan time about 4 am.  May 7, 2025.  It is only   May 6 here, but withinn one month, Mary Eileen is gone on 4/7 amd Mom on 5/7

I knew it was gonna come and still my heart ache.  She barely knew me when I was there in January.  James is goinng to be there Friday  and the creamation is going to be Saturday.  Lovely is suppose to be speaking on Mother's Day  at church.  How is she doing that I don't know.

We got a lot of food from FM, mostly   cabbage and cauliflower, which I cooked some tonnight.  KR had one of Sarah's frozen meal from Aetna plus some Swedish meatballs from IKEA for dinner.  

He is such a rock. 

I am ot goinng to the office meeting tomorrow

Oh mom, you were such an amazing mother, and I miss you so

Monday and Gina's 55th Birthday

 So Happy Birthday

And I had a great visit to Chris Bruno.

And the phone case came for ME's phone that I am giving to Will

KR went surfing and of course I was cleaning house.  First I had a cardio class.  I just didnt move my shoulder (LEFT) much.  Then it was channging sheets and doing laundry, etc.  KR had a beer and went to nnap.  He took Bunny for sutures remova.

Both Wendy Weh-Kam and Patty Ackerman called me for advise on dental.  Sheesh

KR went to Matthew's game and then to anoinnting with oil for Mark Regan.  He had the left over ehcnilada for dinner.  I also cooked the short ribs this morniong so KR had that for lunch.

In bed by 9.  Not as dizzy earlier, but really dizzy now.

Called Srihdar too at OPTUM, and last time I called was 4/16 and NO ONE called me back.  I want to change the pressure on the CPAP machine and the lady monintoring me said that only the doctor can change that.

REALLY?????

Sunday and church meal Kurt moves to Corrina's for five days !!!

Well, he came back in May 2020 and he is gone May  2025.  For how long?   Hmmm I keep on him for  getting a single, via MarketPlace but he does not bother to do anynof the links  I sent.  

We  walked Angel to the park after KR tried to go surfing.  Thenn it  was church.  Kurt came back about midnight so he had a little trouble getting up.

We came home KR stayed for Q&A.  I c ooked  the pizza $4.50 from Ralphs and added some bell peppers and onions and cheese.  Two pieces left at the end of the taco meal. 

I could not  eat  much so brought my  food  home.

Kurt  did  laundry and packed up and left.

I went for a bike ride

KR tried to nnap but Angel kept  waking him

He  took  her to  the golf course  and Sumi   came by for some  spinach and radish.

KR had the left over pizza and we were in  bed by  9

Saturday and FM with lots of spinach * 5/3/2025

 Sleep score with the chin guard was 77.  Went to bed at 10 19 andn woke up at 6 17  and still only 7 hour and 21 min.   WHY why and why.  I felt so tired all day  long and very d izzy.  Sheesh.  

We went to Veterans park and all day   I tried to get on Amazon Prime with Kurt and no go.  Finally found out he has STUDENT Prime so cannot add anyone.  SHEESH

We stopped at Ralphs and we managed to buy 85 dollars worth of food.  Kurt is going to try out Corrina's tomorrow for five days.  Wonder what his rent will be.  I requested his rent and he has not paid yet.  

We got a lot of spinach and radish  I wennt to Sarah's to pick up pho and chicken and drop off spinach and radish.  She was getting a delivery of frozen food.  I think she was in the hospital again  for too much  drinking.  Jeez.  She is going to kill herself.  

I went for a run.  YUP FIRST TIME IN WEEKS aroundn the alleys and shuffle  Last time I ran w as 4/20!!!!!!!!   That is a long time ago  Like  two  whole weeks.  

We were suppose to go  to  dinner with  Kurt and Corrina but she got some kind of food poisoning so we had pho with rice and chicken legs. 

OH, I cooked bacon and wagu beef for lunch

I also  went to Walmart and picked  up my package and Xylimelt for dry mouth   Gonna use two tonight to see if it helps.

Friday and it is Bible Study 5/2/2025

 I had a class, cardio dance and KR took Angel out.

He also went to the garden and got a bunch tumeric  and we  are going to plant some and i  listed on BNT and everyone  wants  some.

KR walked Angel on  the  beach.  I went to the cardio class at 8.  Sleep s core was 52 and poor.  14000 steps though

We had Bible Study, Firday night lite which was good.  EXCEPT no food except cheese andn crackers and chips.  Anita came so that was great.

WORKING Thursday Kurt 5/1 May Day march downtown

 When you  miss onne day you really  start to miss two

YUP it is Friday night annd I forgotten what happened yesterday

I went to work and the 7 am did not show up so it was eassy and it was Dr Patil's last day too.

Got done about 12 45 and went home and stopped at Yamagushi in the mall and picked up the ToGoodToGo bag.

KR had lunch and was asleep.  I went to my cardiologist appt.  We did a strees test.  Then I went for a 7.8 bike ride all around town.  

Kurt had gone DTLA for the May Day march andn brought home a lot of food.  He said there were thousannds of people there and he walked to Chinatown and took three buses to get home.  He parked at Crenshaw/Torrace and took the bus to DTLA.  A truly proletariat thing to do.  HAHAHAHA    I had some chili and had some bad heartburn and had to get up and take some bicarb